Monday, January 30, 2006

In low light, I think I recognize The Bug. It's like I remember him from a long time ago, but I can't quite place it. Then I wonder, is it just that he looks like me? Or Mister Aran? My brother, maybe? I look and look, and the more I study him, the more familiar he seems. I can't explain it, but it happened the first time I saw him, when they laid him, all crunched up and gooey and miserable, in my arms.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

I don't feel like blogging these days. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's all the mama drama. My mama, not me mama.

However, I should use this blog for its purpose, which was to document The Bug, so that I don't forget one day.

1) He has started all kinds of blabbering. It sounds like real words, just not in any language I know. I call it Buglish. He's also experimenting with the range of his voice, which means we get shrieks and whispers. I like the whispers a lot, the shrieks almost as much, just not in the middle of my Weight Watchers meeting. Today after screaming with tiredness in his carseat, his daddy trying to calm him and me broiling in the front, daddy got out and The Bug decided there was no one else to scream to so he stopped. He did his post-crying hiccups and then said, in the saddest voice ever, "Oh, Dada. Dadadadada. Oh, Dada." Then fell asleep.

2) He still has the most erratic sleep patterns on the planet. I'm doing everything wrong. Everything. I'm resigned to doing it all wrong for the rest of my life.

I tried to let him cry it out at naptime, but it didn't work. He worked himself into a panic and I called my mom, who encouraged me to do what I thought was right but also told me that it might be a little early. I need to get off my iVillage messageboard, where every other mother's darling has been sleeping through the night for months now, and the lack of this ability is considered to be a parenting problem. Actually, they're not hard on me or anything, but I feel awful about it.

In the midst of this crisis in my brain, he slept through the night last night. It's like he's trying to freak me out.

3) He grabs balls out of the back of his toy turtle, pushes down the turtle's head to make it spin and sing, passes the balls back and forth between his hands, tries to get them in his mouth, drops the balls, then screams bloody murder.

He has mastered the Cookie Monster portion of his Sesame Street toy.

4) He can swing at the park. It's awesome. He leans forward and, just like a man, spits into the abyss.

The other mommies always come over to talk to me. It's nice, but their kids are usually quite a bit older and the conversations are strained. Nobody introduces themselves, but they introduce their kids, so I do, too. It's weird.

5) My mom started a new job this week. Congrats, ma! I know this has nothing to do with The Bug, but who cares. Hi Llaph, too.